I look west

Posted by on May 6, 2020 in cancer diary | No Comments
I look west

The sun rises in the east while I meditate and do yoga. Heat comes from the south during my practice time. The north remains cold. But I look west, to the setting sun. My time is setting, my twilight has begun. Scared? I really don’t know. Yes, scared of giving up, scared of losing my abilities and knowledge, scared of hurting my precious young sons and wife. But the setting sun brings a new beginning. The spirit rises and the dark side prevails and night blankets the earth in mystery and a view of the stars, the universe itself. It soon will blanket me.

Trees, the forest, block my view of the setting sun. I have long wanted to open the woods in that direction to have a better view, to see the colors and drama of the waning of light. But it’s probably too much for me to accomplish now. My body is weaker, my goals and dreams get smaller – and yet expand through time and space, through word and prayer, through internet and ether. Is this the end of the day, or the beginning of a long night full of dreams and wandering the universe?

My morning rituals begin here, in my practice room, with my friends: the art work that surrounds me. Works by Nancy Knowles, Erika Radich and Adam Wallace. Those beckoning western trees are seen through the windows. But I look east first, to the coming potential of another day enriched by love and play and work. What a balance to maintain — especially when my family is drawing close and we have many friends who want to communicate. I feel selfish ignoring beautiful emails and notes from friends, but I must protect what is nearest and dearest. With already limited energy waning, my priorities must be brutal: me, my family, my work come first.

I would like to give a particular shout out to Erika for her most magnificent and loving set of monotypes called A Distant Wind. She made these while listening to, and feeling inspiration from, my newest CD of the same title. There are two more similar sets at her website, as well as many other works, please visit and solicit. Her deeply spiritual images will inspire.


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