Lost Dogs | Fear or Joy?

Between October 2018 and April 2019, I lived in limbo. I wrote this story at that time. I recently learned I had two forms of cancer. We watched both with regular checkups, not knowing if or when one might pop up to grab me and drag me down. I did not know what to do with my career and since that is a daily endeavor, my days were confused. I certainly could not schedule concerts far in advance, but fortunately I had accepted offers to do a few local concerts in April and planned to record those works in May or June. That kept me going.

Two items before the story begins. First, from July 15 – October 15 we are celebrating the 40th anniversary of a life-changing experience, Trio LiveOak’s pilgrimage to Spain in 1979. To honor that trip and the memory of our incredible partner John Fleagle, I will insert recordings and photos from that time on my coming posts. Here is Jançu Janto from the LP Star Shining on the Mountain, 1980.

Please click on image to enlarge and enjoy – cartoon by LaBarge

Now let me introduce another multi-talented friend. Trevor LaBarge was an excellent student of mine for several years. He gave that up to become a photographer, and then took to drawing cartoons. Fortunately, he has a day job! But a couple of weeks ago I commissioned him to draw some cancer cartoons. We had a blast vamping on various gross aspects of hospital life. He went home and got to work, but decided to focus on the dog’s view of cancer in their owner. They are a riot and will adorn these pages over the next couple of months. This cartoon is an extra to introduce the main characters and seemed appropriate for this little story.

Gone – March 12, 2019

My precious boys were gone. Took off. I wanted to give them extra exercise and thought the deep snow would keep them close even off leash on our late morning second walk of the day. Bad idea – deer were close. Tracks revealed their cavorting through the woods  the night before. Hormones went wild. The legs, energized by millennia of training, took them on a wild trail leaping 3 feet at a time to find their would-be prey.

I yelled, I cried, I howled. Nancy and I walked and drove for the next 4 1/2 hours to find them. Nothing. Only the initial trail in the snow to a bed of deer droppings, and then a chaos of paw and hoof tracks. And the sound of coyotes not so far off! Did they call for company, or a good meal? The owls were nearby as well. The night was coming. We collapsed on the couch with the two girl dogs and bawled. Sure they had succumbed to the wild, I beat myself for such foolishness.

For more listening pleasure: He Fools, from Harlequin in Love.

Woof…woof. A very demure and measured sound at the front door. Another trail in the snow appeared through the windows, this one from the road to our door. Two foot paths intertwined towards two mini-Schnauzers patiently waiting to be let in the front door.

Snow Balls

Louie and Teddy come home.

Covered in snow balls, they had clearly been in the woods the whole time, footloose and fancy free. Exhausted, content, happy. Seemingly not scared, not worried, simply out on an adventure. Stimulated, determined to explore and live life to the fullest.

Nancy challenged me to a a ten word poem to describe the event. I realized the word determined has the simple and obvious meaning “not done” or “not ended.”

Romp
in the Woods
Terminated
by Owl
or by Joy
de-
termined!

Will I be as determined, doggedly de-terminated, to make it through the wilds to a place of Joy? Will I hold my values close, my family tight, have courage, and let my spirit fly? Or will I give in to despair and fear and let cancer whisk me away with its talons? I think my dogs have shown me the answer!